Is my online girlfriend really a guy?
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Meeting someone you feel a connection with online can be very exciting. The bad part is that you can’t be 100% certain the person you’re talking to doesn’t actually have a penis. We’d like to drop a few bullet points for you to reference, so that when the time comes, you can be prepared.
- Does She Skip A lot of Bases?
You’ve been talking to SexyKristy1988 for about two days now and you’re really hitting it off. At this point the both of you agree to send each other some pictures.
If Kristy sends you a picture of her naked, while an African American man has his massive penis in the area where she goes number two – then it should set off a few red flags.
- Does She Never Have A Phone?
A big step when taking an online relationship to the next level is the first phone call. If you are constantly hit with excuses, you may want to start questioning the sex of said fling.
No minutes left on my plan, battery is dead, dog ate phone =
- Can She Speak In Leet?
Even the best of us slip up and let an acronym fly whilst talking to ladies online. If you find one that can keep up, don’t fall in love just yet.
Sure there’s a chance that the average girl knows about pwning, nub cakes, and roflcopters, but that chance is very very slim. (To the four female gamers and the one sexy Digg.com user who are angry with me right now: Shut up, you know it’s true)
- Is She Extremely Direct?
Typically as men it is our job to make the first move. In the virtual world this means; we bring up sex first, push our luck with naughty talk etc etc). If you find yourself in a situation where the roles are reversed, you should consider aborting immediately.
Conclusion: Sure it would be a lot easier to hit up a bar to find ladies. At a bar you can be sure that the person you’re hitting on has cleavage and a camel toe. What fun is that though? Live a little and find romance online. Just be sure to reference our bullet points. At the end of the day we want you to be certain that the person you’re thinking about when you jerk off, has an actual vagina (not some Silence of the Lambs Buffalo Bill tuck job).
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Tagged with: gf • girlfriend • L337 • leet • online • phone • sexy • virtual
Filed under: funny
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Great points.. though it’s scary/sad how I read that leet like it was English. D35P173 teh v4J4Yj4y.
Yeah
YOU, can has my pen0r.
GIRL stands for Guy In Real Life
Yeah the leet-speak thing generally makes sense but I kind of think if you’re talking to a girl ONLINE the chances are she at least knows it somewhat. It’s a GIRL ONLINE who’s seriously liking you through a chat. More likely-than-not she’s one or more than one of the following: a huge geek, 12-years-old, some shut-in, or she’s too ugly to find a man in real life, or someone with agoraphobia. So I would say that, in a sense, her understanding leet-speak may be the best sign you have that all she is is a computer geek and not one of the others (hopefully).
Other hints awesome. The leet one, I say if that’s the only hint proceed with caution but you may be lucky.
Well , you are partially right here , but sometimes that happens too. Take me for example, I met a beautiful girl online , and now i am with her for 7 months. And we are really in love
. So , yeah , sometimes you get lucky 
I’m a normal girl and I read that leet speak like it was nothing. lolll
“Just be sure to reference our bullet points.”
This made me cringe. ‘Reference’ is not used as a verb. You were looking for ‘refer to’, as in, “Just be sure to refer to our bullet points.”
You are such a grammar nazzi !
Well , i was high while i was writing this , and English is not my mother language , so you can see where are grammar mistakes coming from
Plus , i am high now too , so i`m too lazy to fix it …
I’m not mad about the 1337 thing, it’s kinda funny. I think these tips are generally accurate. If your chatting with a girl and she is extremely direct, it’s either a dude or someone who’s just f*cking with you (and not in the good way.) If a girl is going to be flirty with you online, it usually starts with innuendo or in some other round about way. *see: and not in the good way*
good luck finding some hot online chick action. lol.
Hmmm… Why would you be mad?
Hmm, well, because you said not to get mad? (For what reason, the real females don’t quite understand, as it was not necessary – *grin*)